Dear BPO interview candidate sitting in front of me…

Here is how you can crack this interview with me, that right now you are failing damn miserably:

 

1# Don’t EVER EVER start the interview saying “Hello Sir. Myself….” You do that and your already meager chances of being hired just got divided by 500

2# Don’t also ever start with your personal/family background. I am not marrying my daughter into your family. Honestly I don’t (no offence) give a fish about your family. My boss doesn’t for mine. I pay it forward.

3# Always start with “I have XX months of work experience. My most recent one was with So&So inc. Here is what I did in that job……”

4# NO ONE on this good green earth gives a f**k about your “career objective”; you put that on top on your résumé and you are right away telling me you are a lightweight. Delete it at once.

5# We are more interested in getting malaria than in your hobbies. So delete this too from the résumé at once.

6# You are vying for a job in an INTERNATIONAL BPO. Our customers and clients are in USA/UK/Europe.Not Jhasola. If you slip into hindi when talking to me, forget it. Just get up and walk out. The interview is now like a girl taking contraceptives in her eighth month of pregnancy. What’s the point now?

7# For god’s sake, wear a deo man. I am your future boss. Not the dog that is later expected to hunt for you in the forest.

8# You are wearing sneakers to an interview. Below formal trousers ? And this trouser is below a leather jacket ? Which monkey from which zoo escaped and fooled you into this combo ? what ? you did this YOURSELF ? There was NO monkey ? Really ? Then leave. Now.

9# Your 300 word essay here you had to write before this interview. Lots of BPOs now do this to test your english. Because we don’t trust the schooling system anymore. we are forced to verify ability independently. OK. I wasn’t expecting a Tagore or Naipaul but this excuse here in front of me looks a lot  like Kalmadi’s track record : ugly, embarrassing and disgraceful. Neat Trick : Memorize a 300 word essay on something you are passionate about. vomit it when here. (what ? no passions ? what about the stupid carom hobby you listed here in this disaster résumé in the useless hobbies section ?)

10# for pete’s sake, mention 3 ACHIEVEMENTS at your last job. Do it in a calm confident voice. Even if I forget to ask, wedge it in somehow somewhere in our interview. Don’t just mumble about your experience and that your sister’s husband is working at Ghaziabad as a DTP operator. 3 ACHIEVEMENTS at your last job. That’s how you stand out fool!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Why this post ? Motive ? These above tips come from my current hiring experience (nightmare). I needed just 20 people with good comm skills for a project I am overseeing. I had to sieve through 200+ for these meager 20 and what a gut wrenching unpleasurable chore it proved to be (is). Made far far ugly by most of the aspirants who were making combos of the above mistakes. Everything above is based on someone making that mistake listed.   I am going to keep adding to this list. With noble intent. To help future aspirants. Myself now leaving . Good Night !

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