On Miswanting and False Goals

A little while ago another blogger I follow devotedly was moaning about how while she had quit living in NYC and was now living in an isolated farm (like she always wanted to), she was bored and miserable at the farm. Here is something this person THOUGHT she wanted for herself but, turns out, in reality she didn’t really like The Reality.

My story: Rock climbing is something I always wanted to take up as a physical hobby as it is healthier than my other exhausting, full body workout passion: Xbox gaming (my opposable thumbs can take on a silverback gorilla by themselves). But when I found myself in Edinburgh and tried rock climbing, I realized, danging exhausted and sore on that indoor wall from hell, that I was not all that into it and if I did it more than twice in a year I was probably over-doing it.

On the OTHER hand, I was always convinced I would HATE exercising if I ever got into it. Turns out…….I love it! The high after it is addictive and there seems to be a direct relationship between the days I exercise and days I count as a ‘good day’. This of course should come as no shock to anyone as it has been documented a million times that exercise improves your mood. This phenomenon on the top left quadrant is now getting attention by psychologists and they have a slick term for it : Miswanting. Suggest you take some time off, go to a barista with a pen and paper and make this grid for YOURSELF. The REAL fun lie in the top left and bottom right quadrants. The other two are bloody obvious (of course you hate the dentist and love chocolate cake). Also try and put experiences and not THINGS in the list and try and put both Past and Future actions into it.


3 thoughts on “On Miswanting and False Goals

  1. Would it not be nicer to just experience things as they come to us. I think we just undervalue our mistakes, actually they are the best self discovery mechanism… Its the pain which makes us get the real wisom ?

  2. By the way… this is a brilliant post ! Well worth the time i spent not working and reading 🙂

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